Preacher and the little Boy with a wagon

Most people in the mountains take their religion very seriously.  The church, without a doubt, is the most important community fixture and gathering place.  Sure, Helen's restaurant is pretty central, and football and basketball still bring a bunch of people together in one place.  Billy's Quick Mart (not sure who owns it or what the gas station is called anymore) is a meeting place still.  I suppose I can't leave out old Wall-mart...as much as I'd like to. 

Anyways, church is critical.  Academic types sometimes talk about kinship networks in the mountains.  People navigate these networks everyday.  It's one of the reasons that people ask things like "are you so-and-so's young'n?" or "you must be kin to ______."  It helps us "place" people, and thereby gain a bit of an understanding about someone you don't know based on people you do.  It's actually a pretty handy little social short-cut.  Well, churches are a lot like family, and many churches are "family churches" anyhow.  When you join a church, you really become a part of that family.  In many ways, you insert yourself into that kinship network.  That's one reason why people might ask where you go to church.  Sure, the type of church might say something about your personality, but it says something about who you know, and maybe where you live.

There are a lot of churches in the mountains...maybe that is an understatement.  Seems every little community has one or several.  From the outside it might look like there is not a lot of religious diversity, particularly because most of the "meeting houses" have the word Baptist somewhere on a little sign out front.  But, honestly there are so many different kinds of Baptists.  Southern, Independent, Brethren, Missionary, Primitive, and the list goes on and on.  There are a good number of Methodists and Presbyterians (though Loyal Jones says they're really all Baptists in the mountains).  I used to drive by an "Apostolic Assembly" church in Glenn Ayre which has always intrigued me.

Lots of churches = lots of preachers, and that might be one reason that there are so many preacher jokes floating around.  The plethora of preacher jokes in the mountains, though, probably has to do with a number of factors coming together, like bucking authority, or poking fun at someone if they get a little too self important.  Maybe it could have a little something to do with jealously...who knows?  Regardless, preachers are a fixture of mountain life, and therefore they take a prominent role in mountain folklore--just like mules, chickens, out-houses, etc. (I dunno, first three things that came to mind).

Oh and by the way, I think the world of my preacher.  And have great respect for every preacher or minister I have ever met!  So after all of that, here's the first of a few preacher jokes I'll be posting.

A little boy was going down the road with a little red wagon and he met up with a preacher.  They started walking together and they hadn't gone very far before one of the wheels fell off of the little boys wagon and the little boy said "Damn!"  And the preacher said, "Son, don't say that word," said "next time say 'Lord, help me, Lord fix it for me."  The little boy sort of rolled his eyes, put his little wheel back on and they kept walking.
Wasn't long before two wheels fell off, and the boy said "I'll be damned!" and the preacher said, "Now son, don't be saying that word, next time just say "Lord help me, Lord fix it for me."  The boy stuck his wheels back on and rolled his eyes, and they kept going.
This time three wheels fell off and again the boy said "Damn!" and the preacher said, "Son, son, don't be cussing like that.  Say 'Lord help me, Lord just fix it for me."  The little boy grumbled a little and stuck his wheels back on and they kept going.
Finally all four wheels just spun right off and the boy sighed and said "Lord, help me, Lord fix it for me" and the wheels just levitated off of the ground and stuck right back on the little wagon.  And the preacher jerked his head back and said: "I'll be damned!"

Thanks to Rick Ward for this joke.